


Fear is what we learned

by liionne



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: And also some crack, M/M, and some fluff, and talk of tortue, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2017-12-28 05:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/988495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liionne/pseuds/liionne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or rather: "5 things that Jim and/or Bones were afraid of, and the one thing they weren't".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear is what we learned

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little thing that I wrote as procrastination whilst writing the next part of A Thousand Ways to Meet. Starts when they first meet, and ends just after STID
> 
> The title comes from the quote: "Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here." from Marianne Williamson.

**I. Aviophobia**

  
**  
** _"The fear of flying."_   


"I may throw up on ya."

"I think these things are pretty safe."

The sideway glance the kid gave him was enough to make Leonard detest him, but he found that, somehow, he didn't. The kid wasn't questioning his highly irrational fear of flying, nor was he laughing at him. He wasn't exactly agreeing with him, but McCoy thought that maybe that would be worse. He could deal with being the only crazy on this ship, but being part of a pair? Somehow, that felt a lot worse than being on his own.

"Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. Solar flare might crop up, cook us in our seats. And wait until you're sitting pretty with a case of Andorian shingles, see if you're still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence."

He'd said it before his brain had even registered it. The shuttle was taking off, shuddering beneath them as it lifted from the ground. Leonard curled long fingers around the edges of the seat, digging blunt nails into the metal. There was no way he could do this sober.

"Well, I hate to break this to you, but Starfleet operates in space." The kid kept that same " _trying to figure you out_ " look as he wore before, but Leonard just took a swig from the battered old hip flask that had once been his daddy's.

"Yeah. Well, I got nowhere else to go. The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones."

For some reason, this kid felt like an old friend he was meeting for the first time, and he couldn't contain the words flowing through bourbon-tainted lips. He looked at the kid, sighed, and offered him the flask.

He was immensely surprised when he took it.

**II. Coulrophobia**

  
**  
** _"The fear of clowns."_   


"Oh. My. God."

Jim stiffened, and Leonard wondered what the hell was going on. He'd known Jim for a good six months now, and stopping and tensing up was not often something that Jim Kirk did. In fact, Jim Kirk never stopped, or tensed up. He was an untamed ball of energy that Leonard was certainly having trouble keeping up with, but he was pretty sure they made it work.

"Bones canwe- We have to just turn around- Bones?"

Leonard, personally, couldn't see the problem. The carnival was pretty nice, even if it was totally blocking their path to their favourite bar. Leonard watched the brightly coloured dresses of the dancers whirling round and round as they spun, and he was almost hypnotised until Jim grasped pathetically at his arm.

"Boooones!" He groaned, tugging at the uniform reds.

"Damn it Jim, what?" Bones snapped, looking down at him with a frown. "What the hell's the problem?"

" _That_." He whispered, bright blue eyes trained on a spot just opposite them, slightly to the left. A man dressed in funny trousers, big shoes and an orange wig made balloon animals whilst riding a unicycle. When he looked up, he had a big red nose.

"A clown." Leonard stated.

Jim hissed.

"A clown?" He asked, for clarification.

"Yes a clown, can we go now?" Jim muttered, trying to tug Leonard in the opposite direction.

He was about to tell him to stop being such an infant, and then he sighed. He really had no choice; he couldn't fight Jim when he looked so determined. "Sure. C'mon."

**III. Cremnophobia**

  
**  
** _"The fear of precipices."_   


He was driving that car, hurtling down the motorway at breakneck speed. It came all the way for the 20th century, don't you know, but it's had modifications along the way to keep it running and make it good for use.

He stole it because not only was he a little shit, but Frank was an asshole too.

But then the cops were on his tail and he'd been in trouble with them twice already that month - he didn't need another letter being sent over to his mother.

So naturally, he tried to outrun them. Which was easier said than done, really.

He turned, taking a left onto Private Property, a place neither he nor the cop are allowed to go without permission - both go anyway, one running, one chasing.

Before Jim realised he should've turned in the complete opposite direction of the way he _has_ turned, he'd very close to that precipice.

That huge, massive precipice that was too large of a drop for Jim's mind to comprehend.

He didn't know he'd jumped until his palms scraped along the gravel and he almost fell. He knew that drop was behind him, that massive drop, that'd take him all the way to the big black beyond if he wasn't careful, and so he scrabbled for his life.

Jim woke up screaming. Bones was already there, wrapping strong arms around him and holding him close.

"S'alright Jim," He soothed him. "S'alright, it's just a dream. Just a dream."

And even though that's not going to make it go away, Jim nuzzles into him, because Bones makes him feel safe like no one else could.

**IV. Aichmophobia**

  
**  
** _"The fear of sharp things."_   


It'd been a long hard mission for both of them - captured and taken to the very heart of the Arkonian city center, taken underground and experimented on. It'd all started because they'd found out that the Enterprise had a Vulcan onboard (even though Spock hadn't beamed down with them), and anyone who associated with a Vulcan was not to be trusted.

They were starved, cut open, and injected with god only knows what. At first, they grit their teeth and looked strong. But then after the third day, when no one had come to save them, the facade crumbled. Every time one of their "scientists" would approach them with a long sharp needle or a glistening silver scalpel, they would thrash and beg and lash out, and they'd scream for the whole dan procedure because maybe that'd put them off next time.

It was eight days before they were rescued.

They were both nearly dead.

They both had to be carried back to the Enterprise, unable to walk themselves. Jim was unconscious, and Bones reached a hand out to hold his. That was when he blacked out too. And when he woke up, Chapel was filling a hypo with a bright blue solution.

He immediately began to squirm.

"Don't please, Chris, don't, Chris-" He looked feral, writhing on the bed like that. Feral, or terrified. "Please, Christine, don't, don't-" A choked sob escaped his lips, and Christine put down the hypo. Leonard stiffened rather than relaxing, but Christine reached out a hand to stroke his hair.

"Alright." She murmured, giving him a soft smile. "Alright, I won't use it."

"Thank you." He whispered. He cleared his dry throat, and looked around himself. He couldn't see anything for the curtain surrounding the bed. "Christine, where's Ji-"

He was cut off by heart wrenching screams.

"You gotta let me, you gotta let me-" Leonard began, trying to scramble up from the bed. Christine did nothing to stop him; she just grabbed his drip bag and held it aloft while he stumbled to Jim's bedside right beside him.

Jim was screaming, eyes wide but glazed. Leonard wasn't sure if he could help. He swallowed his own fear and barked at Anderson, "Get that needle outta here!"

She retreated with a nod, and Leonard pinned Jim's shoulder to the bed to stop his thrashing.

"Jim, it's alright. Jim, c'mon, darlin'. Jim. Can you hear me? C'mon sweet heart it's alright, you're safe now-"

"Don't let them get me, Bones."

His voice was soft, barely above a whisper. He sounded like a little lost child, and it broke Leonard's heart.

"I won't let 'em get you, darlin'." He murmured. "I'll take care of you."

Jim seemed to settle just a little then, catching Leonard's hand in an iron grip for someone who seemed so tired. Bones wasn't going anywhere; Christine hung the bag of fluid up, her only sign that she was letting Leonard stay before she left.

**V. Kakorrhaphiophobia**

  
**  
**" _The fear of flying."_  


Bones receives his commendations the same day Jim did.

Jim got a lot more medals than he did, but that didn't really matter. Bones was just glad that he hadn't failed. He had kept as many of his crew alive as he possibly could, and he'd kept med bay running to the highest standards. The board told him that much. And Leonard was glad he hadn't failed, because if he had-

Well, he shivered just to think about.

Jim turned his head, looking over his shoulder and glancing at him. He smiled, and Leonard smiled right back, but a chill ran through him.

Jim was happy with his medals; he hadn't failed. He was happy with Bones' medals; Bones hadn't failed either.

But that was only because Bones hadn't told him that bringing your best friend (and a lot more) back from the dead was a serious offence, and he was facing expulsion from Starfleet and having his license to practice revoked.

But he didn't tell Jim that.

He didn't want to ruin his special day.

**\+ 1. (Not) Siderophobia**

  
**  
** _"The fear of the stars."_   


"Look at them, Bones." He whispered, casting his eyes up to the deep black sky. Thousands, no - _millions_ , of stars twinkled over head, and Jim was captivated by them.

"I see them, Jim." He murmured in return.

"They're beautiful, huh?" Jim smiled softly.

"Yeah." Bones agreed. "Yeah, they're beautiful."

And when Jim turned to look at him, he realised that Bones had been looking at him the whole time.

**Author's Note:**

> Two chapters because I'm pretty sure I'm going to add in alternative situations that fit with these titles, so expect that soon I guess.


End file.
